Do you want to know what a dopamine crash feels like? Have you ever had that feeling that you cannot start your day because you have not had your coffee yet? That is low dopamine. You have no motivation to get things done. Your brain feels foggy. If you have withdrawn from an addiction, you know the feeling. Multiply that by a million. I had that happen to me.
How did it happen? I was chatting with a girl online. It went well until she said that she felt she was not ready for online dating. She deleted her account. One month earlier, it did not work out with a different girl.
Two girls, a month apart. With heartbreak, there is a sudden drop in dopamine. The second time it was very bad. I even got addicted to caffeine and have to quit that.
Only one thing brought me through this rough time. It was Jesus’ reaction to the death of his cousin John the Baptist. Jesus took time away to be with his Heavenly father. The situation was hard on him. It was okay. That was not bad.
To be honest, I even pulled away from people. That was not bad. I know that God in me can love others, but I needed a break because of what happened. It took three weeks for my mind to start feeling clear.
Once my mind cleared up, a million familiar lies flooded my head. I knew they were just lies. The Holy Spirit burned them away.
As the lies burned away, I saw the truth of God’s logic. The Spirit took me back to my college days when I had a big crush on my best friend. I was innocent of compatability. I just liked how much she cared about other people. There was no thought of how she could help me build a life in the world.
This goes against a lie of the church that God meant for a wife to be a helper (Genesis 2:18) in that she helps a man build a life in the world. After college, I was told this lie and fell for it. A wife is supposed to be a helper in that the man’s love for her helps him see God’s love.
Bertie Brits shared this definition of a helper. It makes sense because it fits the gospel as a whole. There are verses to show that the husband’s love for his wife is a type and shadow of Christ’s love for the church.
With this freedom from the church’s lie, a man is free to pursue whomever he pleases. While I don’t know everything I want in a wife, I will say that something`stirs in my heart when I meet a tender girl who deeply cares about others. That’s the only thing I can say for sure I want. It’s not born from lack, but that personality deeply melts my heart.
The lies of lack came from difficulties with being intuitive and pursuing a girl who respected my dream of going into film.
An intuitive person is a person who process the world in terms of thoughts and ideas. This is opposed to sensors, who process the practical, physical world. This creates communication difficulties. Sensors often don’t understand intutives and this causes intuitives to feel lonely.
Perhaps God’s logic is the answer to this loneliness. What if no one understands my intuitiveness? So what! God understands me.
And as I experience freedom from the lie that I need others to understand me, the Holy Spirit comes to weed out another lie. This lie is that a woman needs to appreciate and respect a man. “Christian” marriage resources promote it.
This lead me to wonder if I should marry someone who likes film. This question haunted me. But the answer is to look at how we appreciate and respect God. He does not need our appreciation. But we benefit when we appreciate His love for us.
That is the platform from which a wife appreciates a husband. She appriatiates and respect God’s very logic in him. This logic produces a deep passion for the woman and a desire to see her safe from the devil’s lies. It has nothing to do with his personality or the things he does in this world. It’s perfectly fine to marry a girl who has no interest in movies.
This lie was the root of a lot of my approval issues. As this lie got rooted out, I focused less on how others treated me. My dependency on caffeine has dropped. I’ve been more relaxed.
This leaves me waiting for my caffeine withdrawal to clear up. If you do have low dopamine, try DL-phenylalanine. Don’t take this as medical advice, but there is evidence that it can help with withdrawal.
Right now, I still have a few things to reason with the father about.
Under resurrection influence,
James M. Tuttle